As parents with newborns we are reminded over and over again about the need to not compare our children with others. Don’t compare our children, don’t compare ourselves. I think most of us have all made the claim, “I will never do that,” “I am so happy I don’t compare my kids.” Well, guess what? YOU DO! We all do! If we utter the words, “I don’t compare”, we all know the truth deep down within. I think we all start off with good intentions, but we tend to fall short. I totally compared my non-sleeping infant to every other baby who slept through the night. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I get my baby to sleep? Why am I still carrying the baby weight when she is so skinny? We may not make comparisons out loud, but our thoughts still count.
I have found the evilness of comparison is only worsened when you have a child who struggles with a learning difference. Why can’t they read like the others? Why does homework have to be a nightmare? Why can’t I not go home just for one night so I don’t have to deal with the battle? Why is my life hard and others have it so easy? WHY? WHY? WHY? Before my daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia, I used to compare her all the time and I found myself to be very competitive. Of course, this was all a battle within my mind which was fought day after day. I didn’t want my sweet girl to deal with a struggle, I wanted school to be easy and fun. I wanted her to be “normal”.
I think I have become more aware of my comparison spirit and my competitive drive knowing my daughter struggles with Dyslexia. I still compare….we all do, but we don’t always share our thoughts out loud. Last week at church, we were faced with a sermon on INTEGRITY, where we were forced to face our demons on Comparison and Competitiveness; trying to find a balance. I left on Sunday feeling like a failure but thanking the Lord for opening my eyes. I have posted the clip in hopes others can open their eyes as well. Because those of you who say “I don’t compare”, are the first to post your child’s accomplishments on social media for all to see. There is your comparison, there you are trying to prove your child is the BEST. Be humble.
PORT CITY COMMUNITY CHURCH
We believe that if we can just balance all of our activities and priorities then we will find true security. But, balance is a myth. It’s impossible to achieve. Trying to be everything for everyone drains us. We live a double life where we have our work life, social life, family life, leisure life and church life, just to name a few. Compartmentalizing our lives have lead to us having a fractured soul.