I figured one of these days, the shoe would fall. Ev has been on a pretty positive streak, loving school, eager to do her homework, loving the idea of independent reading, and eager to listen to Harry Potter. Last week things were a bit off, she seemed to be fighting against her ‘fun loving” spirit.
Hesitant to burst our perfect bubble, I finally broke down and asked what was bothering her. She was simply “anxious” and “embarrassed”. Everlee is a perfectionist and wants to do well in everything she attempts. She was struggling with the fact her spelling words weren’t all 100%, her math facts weren’t scoring 100, and she missed a dictated sentence. Sometimes as her mother I am uncertain if this fear is caused because she is dyslexic, or the anxiety from being dyslexic, or simply because she is a maturing eight year old-young lady. This journey seems to have so many dips in the road, it can be a challenge to maneuver.
The worst came when Ev looked at me and said, “Do you wish Nash was born first since he isn’t dyslexic?” I’m not entirely sure what was meant by this or what was going through her sweet mind but I can’t imagine it causing her comfort. Of course my answer was “no” but does this make her feel at ease, does this answer the question in her mind, does she believe me or just expect me to answer “no”?
For today, we will accept some unanswered questions and keep fighting the good fight.